Too late. The floor had other plans.
Over the next week, Lena tried everything. A sledgehammer only chipped the enamel. A heat gun turned the epoxy into a kind of superglue-scented napalm. A contractor named Jerry came by, took one look, laughed for thirty seconds straight, and quoted her nine thousand dollars to “cut out the floor, lift the tub with a chain hoist, and rebuild the joists from scratch.” Lena didn’t have nine thousand dollars. She had a bathtub that was now load-bearing. bathtub stuck
She tried again, this time with a grunt. The tub shifted an inch, then stopped. Lena frowned, got a crowbar, and worked it under one of the feet. The foot lifted half an inch—and then something deep in the floorboards groaned, a sound like an old ship settling into its grave. Too late
The tub never moved again. But every Sunday, Lena filled it with warm water and a splash of eucalyptus oil, climbed the ladder, and soaked while looking down at her living room. From that angle, the ceiling fan looked like a slow-motion helicopter. The goldfish drifted past her knees. And somewhere deep in the floorboards, Horace’s ghost—if it existed—probably laughed. A sledgehammer only chipped the enamel