"Sir," he said, "I can see your case. The system flags it because your sticky note in the video was green. The example photo shows a yellow sticky note. You will need to re-film the video." You will need to re-film the video

I found the card, tucked safely in the original box. 24 Months Premium Warranty. Accidental Damage Protection. I almost wept with relief. I had paid extra for this. I was a responsible consumer. I was covered .

It began, as all great technological tragedies do, with a single, perfect drop of coffee.

Not a spill, mind you. A drop. A tiny, round, glistening droplet that launched itself from my mug during a celebratory fist pump (I had finally closed a particularly nasty bug in my code). It arced through the air like a liquid meteor and landed squarely in the ventilation grille of my beloved ASUS ROG Zephyrus.