“Lane 3 has improper water circulation,” she announced, adjusting her goggles. “Also, the diving board’s spring coefficient is 12% below safety standards.”

Killjoy as the reluctant pool party guest who still brings her tech.

Not because she was mean. But because she brought a clipboard.

But here’s the secret: channel that energy. Bring waterproof cards. Time your breath-holding. Organize a competitive pool noodle jousting tournament with clearly defined rules and a bracket system.