What light through yonder waffle iron breaks? T’is a Sneetch! And a glorious Sneetch, for goodness sakes! Her hair is like fizz-floss, her nose like a pootle. I’ll marry this creature and name her my Skittle! JULIET-GAZZ (giggles): A Montague? Gasp! A terrible pickle! My family will grumble and throw a loud nickel! But who cares for nickels? Who cares for a name? A rose by a smell-smell still smells the old same! (They hold hands. A small dog in a hat sneezes. They kiss. It sounds like a “Zoop!”)
In fair Verona-Who-ville, where the sidewalks are squiggly, Two families fought, and they did it quite frigidly. The Capulets! The Montagues! A terrible two-some. They’d argue whose toast had the yummiest yum-crumbs. (Enter ROMEO-ZOOT, sighing big sighs.) the seussification of romeo and juliet script
Oh, Julie-Gazz-Jilly! My Fizz-Fuzzle-Foo! I’d climb seventeen ladders to give you a shoe! JULIET-GAZZ: Don’t swear by the moon, that old cheese-bally sphere! It changes its shape every week of the year! Swear by your ridiculous hat, if you please. That hat is much sillier. Swear by the fuzz on your knees! ROMEO-ZOOT: I swear by my kneefuzz! I swear by my nose! I swear by the lint that collects in my toes! (FRIAR LAWRENCE-KNOX hops in, carrying a pot.) What light through yonder waffle iron breaks
A Happily-Ever-After-ish Tale of Two Who-zits and a Whole Lot of Nonsense Her hair is like fizz-floss, her nose like a pootle
I’m supposed to meet Paris, a boring old bear. He brings me lint-covered gumdrops to wear. But I want a Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz! A real Zing! Someone who’ll dance on a hot buttered spring! (Their eyes meet. A CHOIR OF SMALL FUZZY THINGS sings “Doo-dah-doo.”)